I AM…
Who are you?
I don’t mean the you that the general public sees.
I want to know who you REALLY are.
I want to know about the threads that make up your beautiful mosaic.
I want to hear what lyrics and notes work in harmony to create your own splendid song.
I wish to see what lies beneath the surface, what exists within your soul.
Me?
I look typical, perhaps even “normal” on the outside
Your everyday, standard vanilla
(“Move along, folks, nothing to see here!”)
And if I choose to be invisible, good luck finding me
I often blend in, unnoticed
That is… until you earn my trust and I choose to give you the key
Be careful should you decide to open the door.
You’ll find I can be a circus -a carnival- a roller coaster
I am the River – still and peaceful one moment, raging and moving wildly the next
I am an explosion of colors. Vibrant orange hues fading in to the deepest indigo and occasionally traversing into midnight black.
I am adventure. I am a romp through the woods with a Wild Thing.
I am a cacophony of sounds. Soothing, harmonious chants which, with a moment’s notice, can escalate to rebellious, raging rock
One moment I am the calming scent of lavender
The next? A delightful mixture of cinnamon and cloves that stimulates and ignites a fire within you
I am an eruption of laughter, the kind that shakes your entire body and makes you feel free
I am the gift you long to open under your Christmas tree
Like a child, your imagination takes flight as the anticipation of waiting to see what’s inside becomes almost overwhelming (and more important than the gift itself)
I am the love and light that knows no barriers, no boundaries
I am the dancer, I am the dance
Sinewy arms moving like snakes, hips shaking wildly
With my frenetic energy, I am the music come to life. I am the tale it tells
I am Scherezade’s weapon; the vivid, enchanted story that never ends
I am the vision that is not clear but from which you cannot seem to pull away
I am mischief
At different times I am
…the inquisitive feline,
…the playful otter,
… the menacing panther,
…the proud and distant visionary Hawk,
…the snake that transforms shedding its old skin and emerging with the new
And always, always I am the Phoenix
But not all is love and light
I am not a place where fools and cowards will feel at ease
Quite the contrary.
Enter my darkness, and you will find that sometimes…
I am also a storm, a pendulum, a terrifying gateway
I am the complex, messy, and sometimes frightening darkness that you must walk through and confront to claim your independence and obtain your freedom
I burn for who and what I love, sometimes to the point where the flames consume me
I can shoot daggers with my eyes and freeze you out more effectively than the most powerful blizzard
I am a sheet of ice
I am the mountain that doesn’t waver
I am the water patiently wearing away the rock, intensely stubborn
I am the insatiable anxiety that eats away at you, bit by bit
I am the complicated puzzle that you know you could finish if you could just find the missing pieces. (You ask for my help, but sometimes I don’t even know where to find the pieces.)
I absorb everything and can crumple into a big ball of “feel”
I am the grey, blah day
I run the spectrum from being a creature with an obnoxiously high energy level who cannot bear to do anything but bounce and play (Tigger) to the moody, gloomy being that-sometimes for no apparent reason- is idle, sleepy, and sad, sad, sad (Eeyore)
I am the mirror, reflecting that which you have spent considerable effort ignoring
That which you feel you cannot bear to see
I am selfish, holding tightly to that which I refuse to let go
I am limited by my own perfectionistic tendencies; the artist that sometimes chooses not to share her gift with the world because she is convinced her art must be flawless before doing so
Let’s face it. Sometimes? I am just your run of the mill pain in the ass
I am an angry fire, an unanswerable question, a mystery
I am the game that can change its rules without warning
I am a delightful and frustrating endless rabbit hole, a maze with twists and turns that keep evolving
I am all of these things and more. What I am not, is stagnant. I am rarely boring… or so I’ve been told.
But for now, I shall keep these traits camouflaged and will instead travel the path unseen (to those lacking the key anyway)
Waiting for the right moment to unleash the mystifying, magical creature within
For now, I am the nothing special woman meandering through the crowds
A smile on her face, a secret in her heart
The unremarkable being holding a remarkable treasure inside
Who are you, really?
What mirth, madness, and whimsy have you been hoarding, hiding, and holding close to your heart?
What canvas have you been painting all of these years?
What barbaric yawp lies on the verge, threatening to break free?
I long to know the answer.
I yearn for the revolution of authenticity, wherein bold rebels dare to throw down their masks
Slowly, cautiously at first
But always with love
Building a momentum that spreads like wildfire.
So tell me, my dear…
Who are you?